Category Non-fiction

Homemade Toast

Peasley and I had breakfast this morning at Colossal Cafe and the omelet I got came with Homemade Toast, or so the menu claimed. This got me thinking about the potential of store-bought toast. I think there may be a market for something here. Just imagine, you are a busy young professional. You lead a wild and cavalier life, bereft of toast. It’s hard enough to find the time to shower in the morning – you’ve opted for brushing your teeth in the shower in order to save time. Breakfast usually consists of a cup of coffee and a cigarette on your morning commute. Perhaps you would be able to reach that sales goal, or have a truly winning Powerpoint if someone had done the toasting for you.

Truly, most people are far too busy for toast. Sure, they’ll stop at BK on their way to work for some Breakfast with the King and eat one-handed going down the freeway while listening to NPR and syncing their Bluetooth. Really though… toast? You must be joking. You have no time for toast. I have no time for toast. Nobody has time for toast.

That will all change. Soon you will find Lewis brand pretoasted breakfast bread at every Super America. Most popular will be our pre-jammed and pre-jellied varieties, although one could make a case for the pre-marmeladed option. We will change your morning routine, one crumb at a time.